Writing, Running, Being.

The finish line is a shifty Thing and what is life, but reckoning?
Ani DiFranco

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Hamstring Drama

I'm on Day 3 of no running, due to some hamstring issues. I have been having pain in the very top of my hamstring where it connects to the ischial tuberosity. I'm thinking it might actually be one of the ligaments up there and I'm HOPING it's not an avulsion, the common running injury that occurs when the overuse of the hamstring muscles force them to pull away from the bone. I think if that were happening I'd be in much more pain, and as it is now, I can tolerate it just fine while running. If I sound like I don't know what I'm talking about, it's because I don't. I'm not a doctor and I haven't seen a doctor.

All I've done is frantically Google every combination of every word and phrase that says "my 'right-here' hurts, fix it!" And when one site doesn't give me the answer I'm looking for I click away onto the next one. What I'm looking for is something easy, something cheap, and something that doesn't involve dreaded REST! I keep hoping to find some miracle witch-doctor cure in an obscure little corner of cyber space that says "Crush 3 cloves of garlic, mix with catnip and fish oil, smear on affected area then jump up and down on one foot under a crescent moon in the presence of a dog, a cat and a black squirrel." Ya know? That would be something I can do about it. The fact that I can feel something there that isn't going away made me decide to take some time off. Honestly, I have been feeling this literal pain in the butt since before I started my ultra program. I know, I never said anything. I guess I was in denial. It happens. Lesson learned.

So today (Day 3 no running) I started getting antsy. You know that feeling when you haven't been on a run in awhile and everything starts to annoy you? And you start to feel fat and lethargic and and anxious and you can't seem to think of anything to do that will satisfy you? Yeah, that started today. I failed at everything today. My brain wasn't functioning properly at work, I was unsuccessful at getting my toddler down for a nap, I ate a sugary, unsatisfying snack then skipped dinner. F- for the day. I was feeling quite sorry for myself, sitting around the house after work, wondering what people do with themselves on beautiful 54 degree sunshiny Colorado days when they can't run.

I ended up talking myself into swimming. I used to be a competitive swimmer, but since high school the pool has served as rehab for running injuries only. Oh, and triathlon training before I became a mom. It's so weird that swimming was once something I loved. Something I absolutely lived for. Now I hate it. I have the hardest time motivating myself to get into the water. Today I told myself that it would give me a little bit of quiet time and relieve my anxiety. It worked. Sort of. I swam 2000 yards, which is not bad considering I don't swim regularly, but it wasn't satisfying. I felt like a vampire drinking synthetic blood (sorry, True Blood on the brain) when I thirsted for the real thing. The swim was just sustenance. It wasn't satisfying.

Oh well, the pool is all I've got for now. It will have to do. I know that some more seriously injured runners are thinking "3 days? Psshhht! Talk to me in 3 weeks!" I know, I know, but the worst part of having to take time off for an injury is not knowing how long you will need. I'm sidelined indefinitely and if I'm back up and running tomorrow, then yeah, I'm a drama queen. Hopefully next time I blog I will have something more positive to write about. Like miles of trails and sun. Until then, I'll live vicariously through you other blogging runners. Run an extra mile for me!


Tracey Kite said...

Oh Marny, I remember to well what it feels like to not run. I am so sorry you are going through this. I truly hope you feel better soon and are out there running in no time. Remember to stay positive and beleive that you will heal fast. I know it is hard when you are feeling down without running. But a Huge piece of the healing process is postitive thinking. You will get better and you will run again, this I know for sure!

Marny said...

Thank you, Tracey. Today is a new day. Positive thinking shall ensue!

Guinhyvar said...

It will heal, and before you know it, you'll be back in your running shoes, pounding down the trail, happy knowing that you're doing what you're supposed to be doing. Hang in there!


Anonymous said...

I hate injury days! I feel your pain, if only emotionally, and hope you're back in the game soon!!

tara said...

What a pain marny. Hope it is feeling better soon and that it doesn't sideline you for 3 weeks. But you will be fine on your training no matter. You have an awesome base built up. Get yourself better.